Feeling Burned Out? How to Plan a Restful Summer (Without Guilt)

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In this week's episode of the podcast, I’m handing you a permission slip to take real rest this summer—without guilt, over-explaining, or waiting for the perfect moment. If you've ever said, “I just don’t have time for a break” or “I’ll rest after this project wraps,” this episode is your wake-up call. I’m breaking down the 5 most common excuses working moms use to avoid time off—and giving you actionable ways to make unplugging not just possible, but joyful. If you want more memories and less burnout this summer, don’t miss this one.  

Topics in this episode:

  • The top 5 excuses moms use to avoid rest—and how to debunk them 

  • Why “I don’t have time” is never the real reason 

  • How delegating (even badly!) is better than doing it all 

  • The truth about rest and productivity (hint: they’re best friends) 

  • A practical roadmap to take some time off, even in a full season 

Show Notes & References:

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Transcript

Intro

Let me guess, you maybe got some PTO saved up, some vacations penciled in, sort of a secret hope that this will finally be the summer that you actually get to slow down and rest. But of course, deep down, you're probably worried, right? Can I really unplug? What if everything falls apart when I'm gone? Is it even worth it if I come back to a mountain of work and stress? 

This episode is gonna be your permission slip to stop waiting around for that unplugged vacation to feel magically easy and comfortable. Because today I am breaking down the five most common excuses working moms use to avoid taking time off and avoid taking vacations and giving you real doable steps to overcome each one. 

Because summer isn't just a season to survive to get through, it's a chance to reset. It's a chance to be present, to make memories that you actually want to remember with your kids. 

So let's talk about how to take a real break without falling behind, without over-explaining, and most importantly, without any guilt. Are you ready? Let's get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

Why Taking Time Off Matters More Than Ever This Summer

Hello, hello, working moms. I can't even believe it's June already. The kids are out of school. We are entering into summer rhythms. Over the next nine weeks, it is like mind-blowing to me.

Today on the podcast, I wanna talk about taking time off this summer. And we can expand this, of course—not just the summer—but just taking time off for yourself, taking PTO, taking times of rest in the evenings, on the weekends.

We could talk about what it takes, generally, to get past all of the excuses that I so often hear from working moms and actually take the deserved vacation and time off that you deserve. To not stack up your PTO that you haven't used for whoever knows how long, until you've maxed it out.

We're gonna talk about what it takes to actually take time off this summer and go over the top five excuses that I often hear from working moms about what's getting in the way of you being able to do that—and then kind of how to push through each of those excuses.

“If You're Always Working, Where's the Life in Work-Life Balance?”

And this topic comes not only because summer is here and it's approaching, or it's very fast approaching—like we're literally starting it right now—but it also comes kind of under this umbrella of the Ambitious and Balanced process.

So the process that I teach my clients is to really focus on four key priorities that create a foundation of work-life balance. The number one being: actually having some off-work time. Meaning that you actually have times of your life, times of your day, times of your week, times of your year, where you are not working and you are not thinking about work, right? You are literally off.

If we're gonna have work-life balance, that means you actually have to have a life outside of work, which means there is time that you are not working. But of course, the problem is women don't do this. We don't prioritize this. They live in a constant state of working, producing, checking something off—and rest is very difficult for a lot of ambitious women.

Summer Isn’t Just a Season—It’s an Opportunity to Reset Work-Life Balance

And so as we talk about this topic—about taking a vacation this summer, taking time off for yourself this summer—we're really talking about an essential rhythm that you need to have in your life if you're going to experience any type of sustainable work-life balance, right?

And of course, the summer is one of the most natural times to take time off, right? Your kids—if you have school-aged kids—they're on summer break. Or even if you don't have school-aged kids, a lot of preschools and childcare kind of go on some sort of summer rhythm that's a bit different.

The nights are longer. The air is warmer. It's a time that you wanna be outside.

Summer is a key memory-making season for our kids. And for us as working moms, we wanna be present for it, right? We wanna participate in it. We wanna create it for our kids.

And a lot of kids don't have summer activities, or they have very light summer activities—like there's not a whole lot of sports, or school commitments, and so forth. And so summer really offers the best opportunity for you to take time off, take a vacation, and be with your family.

Which is another one of the four priorities. Like, dedicated family time is really essential in order for you to create life—create work-life balance, excuse me—as a working mom.

Are You Actually Resting When You Take Time Off?

Now, I know for some of you, you might actually have some vacations planned. I love that.

The issue might not be that you don't plan vacations, or take vacations, or take time off. It's that you don't allow yourself to rest, or be off-off work, and like really, truly shut down your brain during your vacation or off time, right?

So no matter which camp you're in—whether you are somebody that needs to plan more off-work time, more vacation time this summer, or maybe you actually do that, but you need to get better at actually shutting down work and resting during that time—either way, this episode is going to be for you.

“I Don’t Have Time to Take Time Off” — Let’s Talk About That

All right, so there are so many reasons that I hear from women around why they don't take time off, why they don't take vacations. And we're gonna talk through the top five excuses right now.

I'm sort of gonna debunk them for you, but also give you some practical strategies on how to think about it—for you to get over that excuse and actually plan some time off and some vacations this summer, okay?

The first excuse I so often hear from working moms is somewhat ironic, because they tell me, I don't have time to take time off, right?

As if having time to take time off is what is actually going to allow you. As if it's the magic that allows you to take time off. 'Cause I assume—and I know this from my own experience and my own life and my clients—that if you have time in your schedule to take time off, you're likely not going to do that. You're gonna likely fill it with something else that's productive, right?

There is no perfect time to take time off. There's no perfect season, right? It's not the most natural thing for you to do.

A coach of mine, many years ago, told me that if you are desperate for a vacation week, you likely need two, right? Because one isn't gonna be enough. One isn't gonna cover it.

What If You Took PTO Just for You?

I had a client in the last Ambitious and Balanced cohort who was desperate for some me time, right? That's one of the other four priorities. She was really struggling with taking time for herself. That was not just about off-work time—it was like, time for her, right?

Which again, we could kind of couch this whole subject in like vacation time this summer, or time off this summer, or me time this summer—like, it's time that you're not working, right? It's very essential in a life that is balanced.

And so for her, this was a big struggle. She has four kids. Some of them are teenagers, some of them have jobs. Her weekends are literally spent carting her kids around from one activity to another. She has a demanding job, right?

Just time for herself did not fit into her schedule. She just didn't have time for it.

Start Small. Stop Thinking It Has to Be All or Nothing.

So we had to start small. And this was one of the conversations we had together in one of our coaching calls. She had to stop thinking about it as all or nothing.

She probably wasn't gonna get a whole day to herself. She wasn't gonna get a whole weekend to herself. She might not even get a vacation, right? But she could take time for herself.

And honestly, what she ended up needing to do was take that time off during her work time. Literally, she had to take PTO in order to take some me time off. That's not a problem.

And when she opened herself up to that idea, she started to brainstorm ways that she could actually do that—in times of the week that really worked for her, that allowed for some more regular me time that she was gonna do on a regular—if not weekly—a weekly basis, right?

It Wasn't Convenient—It Was Worth It

I had another client that was dreaming about taking some girlfriend trips. For years, she had been planning these trips with her friends—but she never ended up going on them. I think her friends even went on these trips without her. She just never joined because she felt like she didn't have time to go, right?

And so together, we really started to dig in to why it was important to her that she actually took this time off. Why did she want the girlfriend trips? You know, what was motivating to her about taking them? Why was it important to figure out how to add them into her life? What was the benefit behind it, right?

We started to strategically think about why this was valuable to her in her life. And when we did that, all of a sudden, figuring out how to take that time off got infinitely easier to her, right?

At the end of our time together, she had ended up taking a girlfriend trip—or I think it was planned, it was in the calendar and like paid for. She had ended up planning a week-long trip with her son—something that she had desperately wanted to do and was super excited to take him on.

And she was involved in pottery classes and some other activities that were really rejuvenating to her. She was taking so much more time off just for herself—both for vacations and for herself. Like, it was wild how different it was.

And it wasn't convenient. This wasn't convenient to her. It wasn't convenient to my other client who was taking time off during her workday, right?

There was no perfect time to do it. There was no perfect solution.

In both of these examples, it was uncomfortable for my client to take that time off. It was uncomfortable to ask for the time off. It was uncomfortable to figure out what meetings had to be rearranged so my client could just take like two hours off during the work week for herself. Like, it was inconvenient.

If Time Is Your Excuse, You Haven’t Truly Bought Into the Value of Rest

And so if you're struggling with this excuse—feeling like there's no time—likely the reason why you continue to live in that excuse is that the reasons you want to take vacation, the reason why you wanna take some me time and some rest time, you haven't spent the time to really get on board with that idea.

You don't know how it's gonna benefit you. You haven't spent time thinking about the value behind that vacation time, behind that me time.

So if that's you, and you're using time as your excuse, I want you to literally sit down. I want you to think about and write for as long as you possibly can—15 minutes, 30 minutes, however long it takes.

I want you to write all of the reasons why taking a vacation or taking the me time—whatever it is for you—is the most valuable use of your time, even more valuable than what you could accomplish in your work life or in your unpaid work life, right?

I want you to get your brain on board with how valuable a vacation truly is to you. Find all of the reasons why.

When you do that, I promise it's going to get infinitely easier for you to figure out how to actually make it happen. Because it's not going to magically fit into your life, into your work life, into your daily life, into your summer rhythms. It's not gonna be natural.

You're going to have to decide. And you're only gonna decide when your brain actually sees the value in it.

“It’s Just Easier to Keep Working” — The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Rest

So let's talk about the second excuse. It's this: You know, it's just easier for me to keep working.

Has anybody ever said that?

Like, I don't have to delegate it. Delegating is difficult. I don't want to explain myself. It's just gonna create a bunch more work for me if I do that.

Delegation Isn’t Natural—It’s a Skill You Have to Build

Now look, there's no question about taking a vacation when you have a demanding job, when you manage a team, when you're in the middle of a busy season—it's going to involve some extra tasks, right?

Of course, you're gonna have to explain things to your team. You're gonna have to pass things off. You're going to have to bring them up to speed. They simply will not get everything done. And so there will be things that have to get done when you get back, right?

Some of that you can solve for. And some of that is just simply the reality of taking breaks in your work life.

But my hunch is—learning how to delegate and strategically say no is a skill. It's not gonna come naturally to you, particularly if you're somebody that hasn't practiced doing that much, right?

You're gonna have to start somewhere. You're not gonna truly learn how to effectively delegate to the people on your team until you actually start delegating to them.

When you learn how to describe something, how to explain something, how to resource somebody with it so that they can actually make decisions when you're gone... you're gonna have to learn what to follow up on, what to just leave alone and let them handle, right?

You're not gonna learn any of that until you actually start to release the reins.

And of course, there's some basic principles to delegation and how to do it well—but truly, in your job, with your team, and your leadership style and skills, you're not gonna learn how to do that until you actually start somewhere.

Lead by Example: Your Team Needs to See You Rest

You're also going to be setting an example as a leader when you actually start to take vacation this summer, and start to rest this summer, and start to take time off this summer, right?

If you don't take vacations and time off because it's just easier to keep working and do it yourself and you don't wanna delegate, you're likely teaching your team to do the same thing.

And so you're burning out—and they're burning out—all at the same time, right?

You get to lead by example. And you do that by determining your vacation and your off time this summer, and allowing your team to step up when they need to step up, and teaching them that they can do the same thing too.

Your brain needs time off. Your team is likely desperate for you to take time off so that you come back refreshed with a new mind, right?

“That Was the Most Productive Week Ever”—Proof That Time Off Works

I had a client that took almost two weeks off over the holiday. She was in my Ambitious and Balanced program at that time. She took almost two weeks off during that holiday.

She came back to work—of course, she had some of the Sunday scaries and things that were kind of ruminating as she started back up to work—but that week after she got back from vacation, she said was like the most productive week ever.

She looked back at the time that she had spent with her family. It felt so nourishing. It felt so good. She had so many memories, and she hit the ground running when she got back into work, right?

Her team was desperate for her to take that vacation—to feel refreshed and rejuvenated in the work that she was doing, right?

And of course, this is not a fluke. There's actual research behind all of this—that your brain synaptics need rest in order to operate at their best.

Just like a computer needs to shut down from time to time, your phone needs a reboot from time to time. It needs to shut down for a while in order for it to come back on and be optimized—to run at the fastest speed, to do what it's designed to do at its best, right?

You are no different as a human being.

Yes, of course, it would be easier for you to just keep working. On some level, it would be easier to keep the ball in motion, to not explain yourself, to not have to delegate and manage people through it—but nobody wins when you do that.

And that's really only in the short term. In the long term, you actually are slower when you don't take vacations and you don't take time off.

Rest Is Not a Reward—It’s a Responsibility

All right, so the third excuse that I hear is: You know, I haven't earned it yet.

And I don't hear this just from women that are kind of newer in their job in some way. I hear it from women generally, because we have this idea that rest is something that you earn, right? As if it's connected to your level of success.

But this is not the equation when it comes to rest, right? It's not as if output or success equals rest. As if somehow those things kind of manage themselves out or equal themselves out, right?

The equation of rest is this:
The amount that you value time off equals the amount that you actually take.

Time off is one of the most effective productivity tools that you actually have in your tool belt. I promise you.

“I Feel Like Myself for the First Time in Years”—What Rest Can Really Do

I have a different client than any of the ones I've spoken of that also took time off during the Christmas vacation—something she had not done in years. I think probably ever since her kids were born.

And together, we actually had to plan for that, right? We had to come up with a strategy on what she was gonna do, what she wasn't gonna do, what she needed to communicate to her team, if there were any particular emergencies that would require her to hop back on, right?

So we did all of that strategizing ahead of time.

And then she came back after her two weeks off—which she was able to actually take the full two weeks off. I don't think she was needed at all. She came back from her staycation with her family literally a brand new person.

I remember seeing her on our first call in January—energized, excited, so motivated to get back to work. I think she said, I feel like myself for the first time in years.

Like, her brain felt so clear. And as she looked to the upcoming weeks and the upcoming months, she knew exactly what she needed to prioritize and how to get it all done. Her capacity felt like 10 times more than what it felt like before she had taken that vacation, right?

Rest was literally a tool for her success.

But up to this point, rest had not been something she had valued as much as she wanted. And ultimately, it was one of the reasons why we were coaching together, right?

She was on the edge of burnout all of the time. She wasn't valuing rest because she was working all of the time—and her mind just wouldn't stop.

So since our work together, she had gotten into regular yoga classes. She was doing dance parties with her kids. She was taking time off with her family, taking vacation time, taking rest time—because it was valuable to her, right?

The amount of rest you take is equal to the amount that you value rest.

The “Too Many People Need Me” Trap

All right, the fourth excuse that I hear from way too many women around why they don't take vacations—and why they're not taking vacations this summer—is this: Too many people need me.

My gosh, it's like self-sacrificing.

And we're not just talking about family—we're talking about their team, right?

“Nobody Can Do What I Do” — Let’s Debunk That

I have clients that have 20, 25 people on their team, right? And so there's this excuse that too many people are dependent on you.

And it kind of comes back to how difficult it can be to delegate as well. But in this case, it's like, circumstantially—nobody can do what I do, right?

I don't have a partner that is able to handle the kids in the way that I do, right? I don't have anybody on my team that can do my job. I can't delegate to them, right? I don't have anybody that can do what I do.

It's an excuse.

Because here's the thing: I don’t exactly know what your circumstances are. It could be true that you can't take a week-long vacation this summer. But I guarantee that you can take a day off.

I guarantee that you could take a couple of days off. Maybe they're not in a row. Maybe they're a bunch of half days.

I bet you could take a bunch of half-day Fridays if you wanted—all summer—if you wanted to do that, right? Of course you could do that.

Stop Saying He Can’t Handle It—Let Him Try

Oh, my husband can't handle the kids when I'm away. Look, have you ever actually left your husband with the kids in such a way that he actually has to make decisions for how to care for your kids?

Are you allowing your partner to be the dad that they wanna be—or the parent that they wanna be—to do it their way, to fail forward, to learn what it's like to care for their kids?

Most of the time when I hear that excuse from women—that they don't have a partner that can take care of the kids in the same way that they can—usually, right? And that’s why they can’t take a weekend away or they can’t take a vacation with their girlfriend or they can’t—whatever it is...

Whenever I hear that the partner is the problem, usually, I point it right back to them.

How much are you letting go of control?

Of course they’re not gonna do it the way you do it. They might not ever do it as good as you can do it—although that’s, of course, completely subjective—but they’re certainly not going to learn how to take care of the kids and to parent in a way that works for them until you give them the opportunity to do it.

Letting Go of Control Might Be the Key to Getting the Rest You Need

I have a client that's been really working at releasing and letting her husband take over kid duty so much more so she can do things that are life-giving to her—that she could take more me time. She could do the things that really matter.

And her challenge has been—her partner tends to yell at the kids. And she hates when her partner yells at the kids. Of course, none of us wanna hear our kids yelled at.

And the reality is—this is the kids’ dad. And of course, they're working on what it would take for him to stay more calm and to not kind of get to that place of yelling.

He's not gonna learn how to take care of the kids, and the kids are not gonna learn how to respond to him until she releases—until she learns how to let go of control and let him parent in the way that he wants to parent.

And when she's been able to do that—truly release the reins and let him do what he needs to do and figure it out on his own—when she's been able to do that, she's been able to find the bit of me time, find the rest, find the off-work time that she truly needs.

If you are a caretaker of your folks, or you're a single mom, or you manage a team of 25, right? And you literally feel like somebody needs you all of the time—and that's the excuse for why you can't take a vacation this summer, why you can't take time off

Believe It’s Possible to Take Time Off

Here's what I want you to do. I want you to start with believing it's possible. Okay, that's the first step.

Believe it's possible. Believe that it's possible for you to take a half day off several times this summer—or believe that you could take a week off. Whatever you wanna do, right? Believe that it's possible. Start there.

And then I want you to ask yourself, Okay, assuming that it's possible, what would have to happen in order for me to take that time off?

Okay, make a list. Literally write down a list: what would have to happen?

And then I want you to look at that list, and I want you to think, Now, what is it gonna take for me to actually do these things that I know are required in order for me to take the time off?

That's gonna show you. It's literally gonna pay—almost give you a step-by-step on what needs to happen in order for your vacation, your rest time, to happen this summer, right?

The goal is to show your brain the possibility, right?

And when you can see that it's possible for you to take time off—even if it's inconvenient, even if it's hard, even if it would be uncomfortable—then all of a sudden, your brain can see that you're actually just making a choice.

It's not that you can't. It's that you're choosing not to.

And when you are recognizing that you're choosing not to, you can always make a different choice to actually do it—no matter how difficult it is.

“I’ll Rest When This Is Over” Is a Trap

The last excuse that I hear from working moms about taking their vacation and their rest time is this: I'll take it when the project's over.


Right? Or after the season is complete, or after this particular deadline—right?

Assuming, as if rest is on the other side of a busy season.

Now, I don't know about you, but when it comes to like a big project or something that I've been working towards—a deadline, something like that—my brain always thinks, Oh my gosh, I just got to get through this next thing, and then I'm going to be able to rest and things will slow down.

Rest Isn’t What Happens After—It’s What Helps You Succeed

I don't know about you, but when that project is done—when that deadline has been hit—for me, whether that's like a big workshop I've been working towards, or forming the next cohort of Ambitious and Balanced, whatever it is, these big things in my business—my brain always thinks, Oh, I want to get to the other side of that. Things are going to slow down.

I don't know about you, but rest is not the most natural thing I do on the other side of the project, right?

I don't end the project and celebrate and be like, Woo-hoo! Look at me, I did it! Time to rest.

I go, Oh, thank goodness that's done. Move on to the next thing.

For us as ambitious women, we don't get to the end of a busy season or a big project and actually take the time off that we deserve, right? Resting, taking a break—it's not our natural state for us as ambitious women.

And as long as we continue to believe rest and vacation time are something that we sort of earn, that it's something that happens after we've completed something or achieved something, then we're never going to do it, right?

Vacations and rest are not something that we wait on. They're not a reward. They're a part of our human design.

They're literally a part of what will allow for us to operate at our optimal level consistently, right?

Rest Won’t Just Happen—You Have to Choose It

All right, so let's recap for a moment. Rest is never going to magically fit into your calendar. It's going to have to be a decision you make to take it.

It's also going to help you practice the skill sets that are likely required for you to create a life of sustainable work-life balance—things like delegating, things like better planning, saying no.

And your ability to rest is connected to how much you value rest.

And no matter what type of caretaking or leadership obligations that you have, there's always an opportunity to take time off—even if it's in incremental ways.

And lastly, rest is not something that naturally is going to happen after the end of a busy season or a big project or a deadline. It's something that you have to choose.

You literally have to choose to take a vacation this summer. You have to choose to rest, to take time for yourself.

Fill Your Summer With Memories—Not Just Work

I want your summer to be filled with memories. Not of you working behind a computer—but memories of you outside, enjoying your family, enjoying family experiences, things you've never done before. Memories big and small. Everyday memories. Vacation-like memories, right?

I guarantee you are not going to get to the end of your summer, look back, and remember and feel joy about all the time you spent behind a computer screen.

You're going to look back, and the things that really come to mind are going to be the memory-making moments that you had with your family. Again—the everyday ones and the big ones.

I want laughter. I want joy. I want smiles. I want long walks. I want you looking at a sunset. I want you sipping a drink at the beach—or in front of a body of water, right?

I want you to have memories this summer.

But my friends, taking time off this summer, planning a vacation, infusing your summer with rest and non-work time—this is not going to be your natural state. It's going to have to be something that you choose. And it's going to happen when you see the value of doing it.

Working moms, let's make this summer the best summer you've ever had as a working mom.

Ambitious and Balanced Is Back—Starting September 17!

The last thing I want to offer to you, if you have not heard, is that the next cohort for Ambitious and Balanced has been announced. We are starting September 17th. I am so excited.

And we meet from September 17th all the way to December 17th—just before Christmas starts—so those three months.

And this is actually the first time where I'm not going to kick this off with a Work-Life Design Retreat, because I have found that to be a challenge for a lot of women—to take that time off.

And so instead, we're going to do it asynchronously.

So one month before the cohort starts, you're going to have access to a series of videos where I'm going to teach you exactly what you need to know. We're going to talk about the foundation of work-life balance. We're going to talk about the four priorities. I'm literally going to walk you through the process.

But you can do that at your own pace, at your own time, leading up all the way to our launch on September 17th.

You Don't Need More Time—You Just Need to Decide

So if it has been challenging for you to find that time to take off, to be on this retreat, to do the Work-Life Design Retreat or Clarity Week—if that has been your challenge, it's been one of the reasons why you haven't signed up—then this is the cohort to join.

It's still only going to be 10 women, but I want you to be in it.

There is no better time than right now. There's no excuse anymore to say you don't have the time and you can't make the time. Of course, this is never going to fit conveniently into your life—just like a summer vacation is not going to fit conveniently into your life.

But when you find the value in this, when you decide that what you're creating—as you learn how to create work-life balance sustainably—what you get from that is valuable, and the most valuable thing that you can work on… that's when you're going to do it.

I have a spot for you. I would love to connect with you about joining the next cohort. I also have a very special bonus to those that join early—some one-on-one coaching time with me.

So now is the perfect time to join. I'm going to drop a link in the show notes on how to book that call to learn more about the program and to get yourself into it. Ahhh, I cannot wait. It's going to be so exciting.

Working moms, this is going to be the best summer yet. I know you can do it. Until next week, let's get to it. 

Rebecca Olson